How to Be a Better Ally (Even If You’re Already a Good One)

Michigan LGBTQ+ leaders Julisa Abad, Jeynce Poindexter, Baddie Brooks and State Rep. Laurie Pohutsky call for intentional support

Being an LGBTQ+ ally means more than just posting rainbow flags on social media or attending Pride events — though those gestures matter too. True allyship requires what Julisa Abad, a Black trans victims rights advocate and community liaison director at the Wayne County Prosecutor's Office, calls "being an ally all year round, not only when it's beneficial."

Abad's call for intentional, sustained support offers a roadmap for moving from performative allyship to meaningful advocacy that creates real change in Michigan's LGBTQ+ community. Whether you're just beginning your journey as an ally or looking to deepen your support, these strategies will help you center accountability and opportunity-creation in your allyship practice.

It's worth noting that allyship exists within the LGBTQ+ community too. Cisgender gay and lesbian people can be allies to trans and nonbinary community members, white queer people can support LGBTQ+ people of color and those with economic privilege can advocate for working-class LGBTQ+ folks. These principles apply regardless of your own identity.

Prioritize representation and create opportunities

"What I feel that we need from allies is to show representation, but also, give my community opportunities," Abad said. "I feel like representation is really important when it comes to any facet of life, for any demographic of people that you're trying to serve — but we need real world opportunities, too, in employment and beyond."

Real allyship goes beyond visibility to actively creating pathways for LGBTQ+ people to succeed. This means examining your workplace, organization or community group and asking: Are queer and trans people represented in leadership? Are they being considered for opportunities? Are barriers being removed?

As Jeynce Poindexter told us earlier this year, effective allyship requires collective action. "Every successful movement required organizing and mobilizing," she emphasized. "It took a host of people pulling together with one achievement to either bring better quality of life, to bring equity and equitable resources to people, or to just show up for people in a real way."

Support LGBTQ-owned businesses and organizations by putting your money where your values are. Look for local LGBTQ+ business directories, attend community events and consider making donations to organizations doing important work for queer and trans people. The Pride Source Directory, published each year in our annual Pride Source magazine and online, can help you find LGBTQ-owned and affirming businesses to support throughout Michigan.

Center those facing the most marginalization

Abad emphasizes the importance of understanding intersectionality and supporting those who face multiple forms of discrimination. "We must understand the marginalization that LGBTQ+ people go through, and specifically, trans people of color are the most marginalized, so be intentional about giving them a voice and opportunities to succeed," she said.

She points to systemic barriers that prevent trans people of color from accessing basic resources. "There are so many trans people who don't have access to basic education, to basic trade skills, to a number of things, many who are intelligent and remarkable and able to be fast learners and capable of doing astronomical things, but who are never given the opportunity because of the world that we live in when it comes to biases, when it comes to stigma and even issues like colorism."

LGBTQ+ people don't exist in a vacuum — they also have racial, ethnic, religious, class and other identities that shape their experiences. Effective allyship means understanding how these intersecting identities create unique challenges and opportunities. Educate yourself about how racism, sexism, ableism and other forms of oppression impact LGBTQ+ people differently, and center the voices of those who face multiple forms of marginalization.

Hold politicians accountable year round

Abad offers pointed criticism of elected officials who court LGBTQ+ voters during campaign season but disappear from the community afterward. "We have had several public elected officials and people that are in seats that are able to do incredible things for our community who, when it was time to vote or get them elected, they were at every community gathering of people who are marginalized, telling us how life was going to change for us, that there was going to be all of these wonderful changes in Michigan. And then, the elections happened and where did they go?”

While Michigan has made significant policy advances for LGBTQ+ rights, Abad feels that "a lot of these same elected politicians don't come check on those same constituents that put them in those seats."

She calls out a troubling pattern in political priorities: "And if you've noticed or looked at some of their activity for the last two, four, six years, it has been servicing rural areas and not the demographic of the people that got them there. We need intentionality and elected officials to be allies all year round and not just when you need our vote for specific seats."

Allies can help hold politicians accountable by staying engaged with LGBTQ+ issues year round, not just during Pride Month or election season. Attend town halls, contact your representatives about ongoing community needs and support candidates who demonstrate consistent commitment to LGBTQ+ rights — beyond campaign season.

Listen more than you speak — and ask before acting

Active listening forms the foundation of effective allyship. When LGBTQ+ people share their experiences, resist the urge to jump in with your own stories or solutions. Instead, focus entirely on understanding their perspective without judgment or interruption.

This means putting away distractions, making eye contact and asking thoughtful follow-up questions that show you're engaged. Remember that you're learning about experiences that may be completely different from your own, and that's exactly the point.

One of the most common mistakes allies make is assuming they know what kind of support would be most helpful. Before launching into advocacy mode, ask LGBTQ+ community members what they actually need from you in that moment. For instance, when Pride Source Editorial Director Chris Azzopardi recently sat down with Detroit allies and Instagram influencers Kris Cravens-Hutton and her husband Dave Hutton for our cover story, Kris asked Azzopardi, “Is there anything happening legislatively, since the Trump administration came to power, that's made you really uncomfortable or anything you think we should be aware of as allies that we can be more vocal about?”Sometimes the community needs someone to speak up. Other times they need allies to step back and let them lead. They might want emotional support, practical help or simply for you to bear witness to their experience. The only way to know is to ask.

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De-center yourself in LGBTQ+ spaces and conversations

Allyship isn't about you — it's about supporting marginalized communities outside your own. This means recognizing when to step back and let other voices take center stage, especially in conversations about their own experiences and needs.

When you do speak up, make sure you're amplifying queer and trans voices rather than speaking for them. Use phrases like "I heard [LGBTQ+ person] say..." or "According to [LGBTQ+ organization]..." to redirect attention to community voices. Stop and reflect: Are LGBTQ+ community members asking you to speak on their behalf? When they do, and only if they do, that's your cue to step up and use your voice.

Educate yourself continuously

Don't expect LGBTQ+ people to serve as your personal educators. Take responsibility for learning about queer and trans history, constantly changing current issues and terminology through books, documentaries, reputable websites and other resources.

Stay curious about evolving language and concepts within the community. What was considered appropriate terminology five years ago might not be today, and that's OK — language evolves as understanding deepens. LGBTQ+ resources like Pride Source and the Stand with Trans Lifeline Library can help you stay informed about current issues and community perspectives.

Speak up when you witness discrimination

Use your privilege to interrupt homophobia, transphobia and other forms of discrimination when you see them happening. This is especially important when no LGBTQ+ people are present to defend themselves.

You don't need to be confrontational — sometimes a simple "That's not OK" or "I don't agree with that" can be enough to shift the conversation. The goal is to make it clear that discriminatory behavior won't go unchallenged.

Michigan state Rep. Laurie Pohutsky, an out bisexual woman who chairs the House Health Policy Committee, emphasizes that allies must go beyond passive support. "We need allies to be accomplices," she noted. "It isn't just enough to share in our celebrations, we need our allies to defend us, particularly our trans family, against near-constant attacks."

Some of the most important ally work happens in spaces where few or no LGBTQ+ people are present. Challenge homophobic and transphobic comments from family members, coworkers, neighbors and friends.

These conversations can be uncomfortable, but they're often more effective when they come from someone who shares group membership with the person expressing discriminatory views.

Miss Trans Michigan 2025 Baddie Brooks, a Black trans advocate and musical performer, stresses the importance of taking concrete action when witnessing discrimination. "Speak up when you witness injustice," she told Pride Source recently. "By correcting misgendering, attacking harmful rhetoric and stepping in when a trans person is being harassed, you can make a difference."

Practice using inclusive language

Make inclusive language your default, not just something you remember when LGBTQ+ people are around. Use gender-neutral terms when appropriate, avoid assumptions about people's relationships or identities and respect chosen names and pronouns.

If you make a mistake, apologize briefly and move on — don't make a big production out of it that centers your discomfort rather than the person you've impacted.

Brooks emphasizes the importance of genuine commitment. "Visibility without protection is a trap," she said. "Allyship needs to be direct and visible, not performative."

Stay committed for the long haul

Real allyship isn't a one-time commitment — it's an ongoing practice that requires sustained effort and growth. There will be times when you make mistakes, feel overwhelmed or question whether you're making a difference. But according to advocates like Poindexter, the path forward doesn't require perfection — it requires intentional action.

"We don't need special provisions," Poindexter said. "What we need is to organize and mobilize in a way that's effective with transparent love and support that is intentional. That is what will help us make it through."